Later
by sheisclueless
Summary: Paily fic. Ali remains dead, A doesn't exist. Emily & Paige are good friends with something bubbling between them. A pleasant story with a tragic twist. M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own no characters from PLL. For story purposes Ali will remain dead, A doesn't exist, and Paily's relationship story will be different. Please read and review, feedback is greatly welcomed and I hope you enjoy :) Short chapter to start, M for later content. Oh! and this will be solely told from Emily's p.o.v**

Emily lay awake as she reflected upon the past day's events. She couldn't believe it had been another year since Ali's disappearance. Never a whisper of what happened to her left the girls forever wondering what happened. She sighed and willed herself to fall asleep with only 3 hours until morning swim practice, only 3 weeks until the next big swim meet. With the sharks, the school, and Coach Fulton on her back she was afraid of disappointing. All of these thoughts raced through her mind until she was too tired to run with them. Sleep caught up with her at last.

An alarm blaring through her pillow from her phone was not an ideal start to the day, especially at 6AM. After incoherently swiping at the screen in the hopes of silencing her nightmare, she unlocked it to find a reply from the previous night. She had text Paige around midnight asking if she could be picked up for swim practice. Paige had replied "Sure :-)" and Emily found herself giggling at the dorky face. She winced at the thought of getting out of bed but then reminded herself that Paige would be there in 10 minutes. She groggily dragged herself to the bathroom and pulled out the toothpaste from the cabinet. She grew a foam beard with the inaccuracy of teethbrushing stemming from a lack of sleep. A selfie made its way to Paige's phone, happily captioned "Santa came early this year." After she rinsed and washed her face, she headed back to her room to pull on dark leggings, Converse and a Rosewood hoodie. Her swim bag was just being thrown over her shoulder when she heard Paige pull up outside.

Upon entering the car, Emily witnessed Paige mid laughing fit. She appeared to be laughing at Emily's picture and comically quizzed Emily on the whereabouts of her presents which was answered by a breakfast bar being hurled into her lap. "Thanks Fields," she laughed whilst pulling out to drive to school.

"Hey, how are you holding up today?" Paige asked Emily softly, knowing that to get any answer would be a start.

"Tired. Very tired," was Emily's reply. Paige nodded and left it at that in case she overstepped her boundary.

The smell of chlorine was helping Emily to wake up, as was the heated competition with Paige. She was the only person who could actually compete with her at practice. Lap after lap after lap. Emily was meeting Hanna at 8.00 for coffee and so left Paige in the locker room with a "see you later" and a "thanks for dropping me off." Paige then joked that it was never too early to start learning to drive to which Emily shot a roll of her eyes and a slight smile.

Hanna was already buzzing with caffeine when Emily got to the Brew but the rings under her eyes suggested it was needed big time.

"You have a late night too, Em?"

"Sure did. I'm sure coffee will fix that. Oh look, Spence and Aria are here too!"

The four sat together in a comfortable silence, fuelling up for the day with no-one feeling the need to acknowledge one another's similar feelings. The silence said it all. Spencer eventually broke the silence with a series of questions about Emily's next swim meet which led to an uplift in mood amongst the four as they left for school. They swapped updates on Ezra, Caleb, and Toby as well as supplying Emily with ideas new potential girlfriends after her breakups with Ben an Maya both ended on a sour note. As usual, Emily laughed it off and insisted she wasn't interested which was entirely true. Nobody was catching her eye and she was enjoying life without the pressures of a relationship even though she was lonely at times. She was glad in one respect; senior year was going to be hard, having no distractions was a gift. With Hanna babbling on about the new season's trends, Spencer stressing about additional classes and Aria gushing over Ezra, Emily truly felt better. Normal even. They parted and made their way to their respective classes, vowing to catch up at lunch.

Emily's mind was taking a detour during French. She couldn't care for conjugation, all she could think of was Ali and Paris. More importantly. she thought of how that was never going to happen. She could only ever have Ali there in spirit with her which would never be enough. Her mind drifted to swimming as she watched the autumn leaves swirl outside through the window. That was how she spent all of her morning before regrouping with the girls.

The girls were desperately checking Emily was okay with being left alone that evening. Aria was going to Hollis to spend time with Ezra, Spencer was playing boardgames with Toby and Hanna was getting take-out with Caleb. Each of them offered Emily an invitation but she politely declined with the excuse of having extra swim practice even though Mondays were always free. They let go eventually and they moved on to the next topic; Halloween.

"Hey Em, is your mom still letting you throw a kickass house party?" grinned Hanna.

"I think what you're really asking is 'is your mom still out of town that weekend?' which is then a yes," laughed Emily.

They all grinned before listing who they'd like to invite. Teenagers, alcohol, Halloween.. it was destined to be a disaster. Paige walked by, throwing a piece of paper in Emily's direction as she mouthed "swim times, good luck!" Emily shouted her over and Paige walked over shyly, nodding at the other girls respectively. "Hey I'm having a Halloween party next month... well obviously next month as that's the date of Halloween...," Emily shook her head at the awkwardness of her tripping and falling over her own words, "...anyway I was... WE. Were wondering if you'd maybe like to come? You don't have to. In fact I'm sorry I bothered you, you really don't..."

"Em. Stop," Paige's laugh was out of control, "Of course I'll come, it's Halloween! Thanks for the invite." As she walked away the other girls said bye and to enjoy swim practice which earned them a questioning look from Paige, followed by "What swim practice..?"

Emily panicked and garbled to Paige, "Remember the extra sessions? Coach said it'd be best if we used more time to practice."

Paige raised her eyebrows but went along with Emily's little, and seemingly pointless, white lie; "Oh yeah. Thanks for reminding me. I have to go but I'll text you later. Bye guys."

"See you later," said Emily with a thankful smile. The other girls exchanged looks but decided to downplay it, after all they all had their weird moments.

Later that evening Emily was lying on her bed just about crying over chemistry homework when her phone buzzed.

" _If you really want to practice you can come over to mine and swim :-)"_

Emily felt her cheeks flush as she text back, " _I wouldn't want to be a bother."_

" _It's no bother ;-P I'll pick you up in 10. You really gotta learn to drive Fields"_

 _"You should teach me since you're apparently amazing at driving."_

 _"Oh I am amazing at driving, Fields. I'll teach you all right :-)"_

Emily laughed once again at the faces. Paige was the only person she knew who used those which made texting her a unique experience. The chemistry textbook was abandoned as Emily made her way out to Paige's car. She could see the other girl laughing and waving through the window. What a dork, she laughed to herself. Something about Paige made her feel different inside. Different in what way, however, she could not put her finger on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Thank you so much for reading/commenting/favouriting. I love you guys. Hopefully slightly longer chapter and I aim to have one uploaded daily with a total of 15 chapters. Again, thank you so much for reading :)**

"Toby, that's amazing! I have to tell the girls." Spencer excitedly text the group about Toby's new position as site manager and got 2 out of 3 replies fairly quickly. She pondered where Em's text was.

 _"Hey guys. Is Em home yet?"_

Hanna replied to this one informing Spencer she had seen Em in Paige's car on her way home with dinner. Spencer was glad that Emily was out and not holding herself captive with her thoughts. Hanna was curled up on her sofa with Caleb after pigging out on Thai takeout. Aria was heading back to Ezra's after spending a couple of hours in the photography department with him with quite a few pictures to document the experience.

Over at Paige's Emily swam happily alongside her team mate, forgetting all about her homework, phone, and life. It was nearing half past 8 when they decided to call it a night with the swimming.

"You can shower before you leave if you want. I also noticed you didn't bring a jumper, it's kind of cold," laughed Paige.

"Thanks. Uh that means I can have my black hoodie back that I gave you last week," Em smirked in return. She had been almost missing it and was glad to have the chance to get it back. She padded through Paige's kitchen and up to the bathroom to wash off the chlorine. Her choice of soap was limited to coconut, coconut, and more coconut. The coldness of the gel made her skin tingle. Thinking of her chem homework and the extra swim practices the team were having to endure, 20 minutes seemed more than enough time to spend in the shower. She shut off the water and inhaled sharply at the temperature change as she exited the bath. It was only then she noticed she had forgot to lift a towel on her way in which made her giggle.

"Uh Paige?" ... "Paige!" Paige came running up the stairs.

"Is there a spider in there again Fields?" Emily rolled her eyes through the door before popping her head round.

"I am towel less and I'd appreciate it if you helped me out here."

"Sure thing. Try not to freeze to death," Paige laughed as she crossed the hall to the towel cupboard. She squeezed it through the gap in the door as she was met with Emily's gratitude. Emily emerged just 10 seconds later with the towel wrapped around her.

"That's a good look on you Fields. Just as well. If I beat your swim times again you might want to consider modelling towels." Paige erupted into fits of laughter as Emily shot her several mock annoyed looks. She was now even more determined to beat Paige's times. The two walked to Paige's room and to Emily's surprise Paige had already lain out her clothes. Dark grey Nike joggers, a white tank and the black hoodie awaited Emily. Paige flopped down on her bed and opened her laptop, flicking through Netflix to find a ridiculous horror. Emily knew she wouldn't be watching her and so got dressed right there and then. This time it felt different, she felt eyes burning. Whipping her head around quickly to see where Paige's eyes were, she felt somewhat disappointed that Paige's eyes were glued to the glare that was the screen. She pulled her hoodie on and tied her shoelaces as Paige looked up. Paige jumped off the bed to walk Emily downstairs and hug her before she left.

"I had a thought. What if I took you out driving every night and you took lessons weekly? You'd be driving in no time," smiled Paige in the doorway.

Emily rejoiced at this idea but conveyed a cool attitude. "Um yeah that would be great. Are you sure?"

"Of course! I wouldn't have asked otherwise. I'll pick you up in the morning for swimming. We can go out tomorrow night. Do you want a lift home?"

Emily declined politely. She had to talk to Hanna. "I'll see you later, though," she told Paige as she enveloped her in a tight hug. Paige reminded her to text her when she got home to make sure she was okay. Emily smiled and waved as she walked down the path.

Hanna felt her phone buzz somewhere under a food container. Caleb handily found it and read it to Hanna, "Hey Emily wants to meet you. I was heading home soon anyway, do you want dropped off at The Grille?"

"Duh," smiled Hanna before kissing Caleb. He lifted his car keys and put his other hand through Hanna's as they walked to his car. Hanna laughed at her mom as she told her to be back by 11.

Emily got to The Grille just as Hanna pulled up. She watched her best friend kiss Caleb for seemed like an eternity before Hanna noticed Emily was actually there.

"Oops." Hanna grinned at Emily before asking what was so urgent. Emily explained that she was having thoughts about dating again as it was becoming so problematic. Hanna threw her a puzzled look. "Em... are you thirsty? I mean I know loads of girls who would totally sign up to that."

"Hanna! Oh my god, no. It's just seeing you with Caleb, Spence with Toby and Aria with Ezra makes me feel like I'm missing something. Even to the point where I'm looking at everyone differently to see if they had potential."

Hanna laughed. "Okay so a non sex thirsty? Look if you want to date again that's great Em. I am so happy for you. Does that mean we've got candidates?" Hanna stopped the joking when Emily's face fell.

"Han, I just want to be able to let someone in. Someone who likes me for who I am, someone who always communicates problems to solve them, someone who won't... die." Emily got quieter.

Hanna wrapped her arms around Emily. "I didn't know you felt like that. We all miss Ali. Em you have to try and move on. Live for now. You are out and could have anyone you want. Well not me, I'm taken," Hanna joked as she winked.

"Oh shut up," laughed Emily. She was glad Hanna had a knack for lightening the mood. They said their byes after complaining about homework. Hanna wasn't planning on doing hers straight away but that was all Emily could think about.

" _Hey, I'm home. Thanks for tonight."_ She knew Paige would hound her if she didn't text.

A few seconds later she received " _Anytime :-)"_ which made her smile. Her chem homework was lying exactly as she left it, unfortunately. She made herself try and get through the remaining questions without resorting to assistance from Spencer.

Chemistry homework should be a nationwide sleep aid she laughed to herself as she found herself waking up with her face on top of her textbook. She checked the time and groaned when she saw the messages from Paige telling Emily she was outside. Why was Paige such a morning person? Emily dragged herself to the bathroom to brush her teeth and face as she did every morning. She hurriedly scrambled down the stairs and out her front door after fighting with the lock. Paige was once again laughing hysterically to Emily's dismay. She couldn't figure out what was so funny.

"You amaze me. How is your jumper actually on inside out? How have you not noticed?" Paige was crying at this point; late, bedhead Emily coupled with the inability to dress properly had Paige in stitches.

"Shut up," Emily laughed sleepily as she pulled the jumper off.

"Wow Fields! Do you ever wear a t-shirt in the morning? Quick in case someone sees."

"I'm always too warm in the morning. Sorry I didn't think," Emily blushed.

"Yeah right. I'm too hot to handle, I'm flattered!" Paige joked.

Emily shot her a look but couldn't hold back a laugh, she was too used to Hanna firing comments like this to her. It was all just a bit of fun. Her jumper was finally the on the way it was supposed to be as Paige composed herself enough to drive to school.

An hour in the pool was spent vigorously swimming until they both got restless. Paige stopped at the halfway point in her line and Emily stopped to see what was wrong.

"Oh nothing. It's just ... TIDAL WAVE!" Paige exclaimed as she pushed water all over Emily.

"Paige! What are you - 5?" Emily laughed as she splashed back. This continued for quite some time until Coach Fulton made an appearance.

"Ladies! I hope your times are as good as your ability to have water fights. Not today please."

The two girls looked up sheepishly, apologising before swiftly vacating the pool. They had too much fun to be annoyed and laughed it off on the way to the locker room. Upon entering Emily slipped. Paige tried her best to catch her by the waist but her wet swimsuit prevented a good grip and left Paige's hands sliding down her as they fell in a heap.

"Nice one, Fields. Now I'm cold, wet and sore," moaned Paige lightly.

Emily laughed as she picked herself up and extended an arm out to Paige. It was the least she could do. As they both showered, Emily watched Paige in front of her to inspect her for any immediate damage. Her eyes lingered a second too long.

Emily had never looked forward to lunch so much in her life after a morning of chemistry, maths and English. She was so glad to see her friends faces and to eat. Aria was discussing moving in with Ezra before being hushed by Spencer as Emily sat down. Emily said it was okay with a smile.

"It's totally true. Em is back in the dating game!" squealed Hanna.

"Say that louder Hanna. I don't think the Martians quite heard you." Emily worried about who was within earshot. The girls laughed and talked about this matter further in detail. Emily felt as though her friends cared more than she did but she was lucky to have such interested friends. Just a few more hours until she was free to swim her troubles away.

"Hey Fields, ready to get your game on? Or are you too busy in the dating game?" Emily blushed as Paige joked, "Don't worry I'm not a Martian. I don't think they heard."

Emily laughed finally. What a dork. "I'm going to beat your times Paige, I'm in the zone."

"Oooh, fighting talk. I like it Fields, bring it," Paige said mockingly.

Swim practice was going really well for for the full team. Everyone's times were what they were needed to be and most importantly, Emily was able to forget her heart's pains. She was feeling apprehensive about driving later with Paige but also excited. She'd neglected driving forever so it was time she learned, especially with it being a year until college. Paige was a great driver and she would be truly safe. Pam was also booking her first lesson for Saturday but Emily was hoping she would have picked up the basics by then.

Coach Fulton blew her whistle after an hour and a half of swimming, giving the girls a deserved clap. Numerous pats on the backs were exchanged with a "GO SHARKS" to accompany them. The team spirit was well and truly alive.

After everyone had showered and dressed, Paige reminded Emily she would pick her up later for driving. Emily smiled and thanked Paige once again before saying "See you later."

"Yes mom I know. I will be careful. Yes. Okay. I am safe. Yes Paige is good at driving. Okay mom seriously, I am fine. Go back to working and I'll see you at dinner. Yes the table is set. I'm going now. Bye. Love you. Mom honestly. Bye."

Paige giggled at Emily's efforts to pacify her overprotective mother. "Are you sure you're ready Fields?"

"Let's do this," smiled Emily.

"Now this is called a clutch"...

At around 9 PM, Paige dropped Emily off at her house and waited on Pam opening the door. Just before driving away Pam waved Paige to come in but Paige said she had to be home before her dad. Pam nodded and the face splitting smile on Emily had a second ago vanished. They said goodbye, well Paige and Pam did, Emily habitually muttered, "see you later."

After washing up and tidying the table, Emily and her mom said goodnight. That night, she lay wide awake thinking of the next 3 weeks leading up to the meet. It was going to be swimming, driving, swimming, driving, swimming... She didn't mind. Paige was going to be there a lot of the time which was good. Paige made her feel safe. Paige made her forget who she was. Paige made her feel whole again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys, since it's summer and I have nothing better to do I think I'm just gonna keep uploading when I can which means probably more than 1 chapter per day until it's done. Mentions of self-harm in this chapter! Nothing graphic but just a heads up. Thanks for reading :)**

It was only 30 hours until the swim meet and Emily couldn't sleep. She lay awake and stared at the never changing ceiling. She felt the urge to text Paige even though she had only left her 2 hours ago. The two had spent the past 3 weeks by each other's side. Emily was forgetting what Hanna, Spencer and Aria looked like but on the plus side, her driving was developing. Her instructor, Stephen, was sure Emily could be driving by February if she kept it up. By strange coincidence, Paige text first. A picture attachment was all she sent. Emily had no idea what it would be and braced herself for any kind of possibility. She sighed with relief when she opened it. On her screen was 5 year old Emily and Paige at a birthday party.

" _Nice haircut xD"_ Paige felt the need to comment on Emily's unfortunate style.

 _"Hey you aren't much better miss 'I'm bringing back flares from the 70's'! Where did you even find that haha?"_

 _"Okay I'm calling Switzerland now :-) I got a bunch of 'em all in an album. I think my dad keeps them"_

Emily was borderline shocked to learn of Nick McCullers' soft side. It made her smile. She wondered how many more gems were in a photo album in an attic.

 _"Show me sometime."_

 _"Oh I will, someone has to share the embarrassment :-) I have to sleep but I'll see you at swim practice tomorrow okay?"_

 _"Sure. See you later."_

 _"Wait, Em what's with the see you later xD"_

 _"Bye is too final. I like to pretend that as long as I say see you later then I always will see you later. Go to sleep Paige x"_

Emily didn't get a reply so she assumed Paige was actually sleeping now. She went to sit by her window and watch the night sky.

Another morning; another battle to get out of bed. At least Paige bought breakfast on Saturdays. Emily reminded herself that it would all be worth it. Plus, she got to spend all of this time with her favourite friend, who speaking of was waiting outside. Emily had been triple checking her jumper every single morning since the day she forgot to look while getting dressed.

"Here. I got bagels, toast, bananas, pineapple, energy bars... I didn't know what to get today so I thought we'd have a treat," smiled Paige.

Emily smiled in return at the thoughtfulness. She picked out a bagel for Paige with a little tub of cream cheese and a plastic knife to spread it. Paige started to drive to school and shot Emily a strange look. Emily looked questioningly back.

"Feed me."

"Paige what?"

"Feed me. I'm driving and my hands aren't free. My stomach is starting to hate on me so feed me. Please?"

Emily shook her head in disbelief while laughing at the clown sitting a few centimetres away. She strategically placed her fingers on the bagel she had just spread as to minimise cream cheese mess and stretched over to Paige.

"Any closer you'll be sitting in my lap, Fields. Mmmm - that is good," Paige said with a mouth full of bagel.

Emily rolled her eyes in mock disgust. "You _wish_ I was sitting in your lap," she laughed with a glint in her eye.

"The only thing I wish for right now is another bite of that damn good bagel. Hey! You got cream cheese on my nose. I dare you to lick it off," Paige was in hysterics again. Emily told her to shut up and eat her bagel.

The 5 minute drive was taken up by Emily feeding Paige the bagel and Paige making jokes. Emily loved the little moments where Paige was completely herself. There were moments when Paige was elsewhere and Emily could never figure it out.

The locker room was dead at this time on a Saturday and not even Coach Fulton would swing by any time soon. Emily loved the privacy. Just her, Paige and the water. She got ready slightly too fast and looked at Paige a little too early. She wished she hadn't. Something on Paige's sides had caught her eyes, caught her soul. Emily looked away with a lump in her throat and a dilemma in her head. She couldn't pick a fight over something she wasn't even sure was- it didn't matter. The meet was only for one day, she had a lifetime more with Paige.

Paige looked over once ready and studied Emily's facial expression. "Have you seen a ghost, Fields? Worried about me beating your times?" she grinned.

"Uh no. It must just be something I ate. Come on, let's go prove I'm better than you again," Emily joked half-heartedly. What was she going to do?

Emily and Paige both gave each other a run for their money, proving they were both more than ready for tomorrow's swim meet. Emily's mind was still plagued with thoughts over Paige's sides. Paige continuously joked in the locker room and only picked up on Emily's mood when she didn't receive any laughs. Emily downplayed it and blamed it on the driving lesson she had later that day; nerves she said.

"Hey Em. You got this. You've been picking it up amazingly fast, soon it'll be you driving me about," smiled Paige.

Stephen picked Emily up at 4 PM. An hour of driving before Emily could retreat to her room to think things over. She did everything that was asked of her on autopilot; she couldn't process anything properly right now. She was glad when the hour was up.

Another sleepless night right before the swim meet was not what Emily needed but she was stressing out over what she had witnessed in the locker room. She couldn't comprehend it, she didn't want to. She just wished she would fall asleep soon.

"Ladies. Today is the first day of the swim season. Each and every one of you are more than ready to do this. Senior year is important. We have scouts from Danby, Stanford and other places of interest. You catch their attention, you may get a scholarship. Otherwise, our main focus is winning for us. We can do this. GO SHARKS!" Coach Fulton's team prep never quite got the team going but they were hyped enough already, buzzing off each other's energy on this fine Sunday morning.

Aria, Spencer and Hanna were sitting in the stands with little paper flags shouting on Emily and "wooooo"ing at her as well as waving at Paige when they both walked out. Emily loved the support and the feeling she got when she walked out to swim. She pulled out her earphones and lay them at the side where her team were occupying space.

"Hey good luck, Fields. We've got this."

Emily smiled at Paige's words of encouragement before they were pulled into a group meeting to discuss tactics one last time. It was going to go well, they just felt it.

"Is that one Em?"

"No Hanna, that's Em," Spencer laughed as she pointed out their friend.

"I can't help it if they all look the same, they're all weari- wait why is everyone cheering?"

Aria and Spencer just looked at each other and laughed at Hanna. They could always rely on her to provide them with the comedy. Aria explained that Emily had finished and the Sharks had won. Hanna cheered after everyone else and grinned when Emily waved up at her.

Paige and Emily hugged each other tightly, still clad in soaking wet swimsuits.

"You were great Em! I can't believe the Stanford scout took your details, that's awesome!"

"Well Stanford took yours! That's equally amazing Paige. I might actually be able to afford college if I get a scholarship..." Emily trailed off as she thought about her ideal future. Hers involved Paige but would that happen?

"Oh great, my dad's out of town tonight," sighed Paige, "We were gonna have a horror night but he has to work."

"I could totally come over, add in pizza and I'm there. I just have to ask my mom."

Paige smiled at Emily's offer. "Em, that would be great. Just you, me, pizza and films. Sounds good. I'll pick you up later then?"

"Yeah sure, I'll see you later Paige."

Emily was having a full scale meltdown on what to wear to Paige's and she was being picked up in an hour. She was flipping a coin between outfits and just about tearing her hair out.

 _"Hey, if you had to pick my hottest casual outfit what would you pick?"_ Emily was enlisting Hanna as her guide via texts.

 _"Are you coming on to me again? I've told you before I'm down for that but I have to check with Caleb lol. Black Nike jumper, ripped skinny jeans, Converse xo"_

 _"Why that jumper?"_

 _"It shows off your bodyyy. Thank me later and tell whoever it is you're trying to impress to thank me too."_ Emily laughed at Hanna's reply; the girl was unbelievable, however she did provide solace when it came to clothes. Emily thankfully picked out the outfit and debated what to do with her hair for the next half hour.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Paige's arrival. Oh no. She heard her mom open the door and Paige walk into her living room. Was there enough time to have another meltdown?

"Not too late please Emily, it's a school night," Pam reminded Emily.

"Yes mom," Emily replied with a roll of her eyes. Paige giggled as she shut the door behind them on their way out.

"17 years later and I still bear witness to you giving your mom cheek," laughed Paige. Emily only realised how long that is to be friends with someone when Paige actually said it. No arguments in those 17 years was impressive. No one knew Emily quite like Paige did.

"How was your driving lesson today? Didn't knock anyone down did you?"

"No, Paige. It was really good actually. I hope to be driving by your birthday."

"What? That's like 8 months away, Fields. You could totally ace the test by February."

"The practical is fine, I just don't have a lot of time between school, swimming and working to study the theory."

"Ah right. It is going to be a busy year, say the girls who are on their way to watch garbage." Emily laughed at Paige's delightful outlook.

"Okay so The Grudge? I mean the ridiculous noise is just hilarious." Emily went on to demonstrate the noise Paige was talking about, earning some eye water from Paige.

"That's the one!" laughed Paige as she doubled over from laughter. It only just hit Emily how cute Paige was when she laughed. It reminded her of childhood memories. Emily wanted to bring up what she had seen from the day before but she didn't want to ruin their evening. Paige had phoned for pizza and put the disc into her TV. Emily was shivering due to the other girl's incessant need to have a window open even when it was changing into the colder months. Paige lifted the duvet cover she was lying on and patted the empty space beside her as an invitation for Emily to sit next to her. Emily felt the heat radiating from Paige as she sat down, stretching her legs out while she pulled the duvet over her. Paige was still sitting upright and pulled Emily's head into her lap.

"Your hair's sitting funny again Em, let me fix that," said Paige with a mischievous grin on her face as she rubbed lightly at Emily's scalp.

"Get off you monster!" laughed Emily as she hit Paige lightly on the arm. The other girl feigned pain as she ran her fingers through Emily's hair attempting to rectify the mess she had just created. They both looked at each other when the doorbell rang while simultaneously yelling, "not me!" This resulted in them both getting up and trekking downstairs. Emily went to the kitchen to get plates while Paige dealt with the delivery guy.

"Paige I just got a text from Noel. Party at his cabin next Friday. I have a plus one, you in?"

Paige shut the front door and brought the pizza in whilst nodding as she already had a slice in her mouth. She swallowed before asking, "What about the other guys?"

"Aria is at Ezra's cabin next weekend but I'm sure Spence will bring Toby and Hanna will designate Caleb as our driver," grinned Emily, "hey give me some pizza!"

"I can't believe you get barbecue sauce on yours. I'm pretty sure that's an insult to the pizza Gods, Em."

Emily just laughed as they padded back upstairs to finish their film. The cold hit her once again when she entered Paige's room.

"Oh my god, Paige. Do you like to be freezing cold?"

"I'm always smoking hot Em," winked Paige, "I'm kidding. We can shut the window if you're cold."

Paige leaned up to shut her window and her t-shirt slid up a little, revealing what Emily had seen the previous day.

"Paige... Can I talk to you about something?"

"You know you can, Em. What's bothering you?"

"I'm not sure you want to talk about this or if I should even bring it up but I'm worried. So worried it makes me feel physically sick."

Paige just looked at Emily not quite knowing what to say. "Go on," was all she could think of to say.

"Are you okay Paige? Like truly okay?"

"Em, where is this coming from? Did you have one too many slices of pizza?"

"No. I just. I saw your sides today and yesterday. I didn't want to say anything at first because I was always so sure you would come to me if something was wrong. I feel horrible knowing I wasn't there or I wasn't enough to shield you from yourself. Your scars, Paige. Please tell me you know I'm always here." Emily's eyes began to fill up as she looked intensely at Paige. "Please don't say it was an accident or a cat scratched you. You're hurt and I want to help you," she pleaded as tears rolled down her face. "We've been friends since before we could walk. I tell you everything. Why is this different?"

"You don't understand, Emily. I can't be around you right now. Can your mom pick you up just now?"

"Paige. Please."

"No, Em. Just leave."

Emily got up, her face a hot mess from the tears. Paige walked behind her silently down the stairs towards the front door. Emily turned around and gripped onto Paige tight as she opened the front door. It was like hugging stone. Paige shut the door as soon as all of Emily had crossed the door frame.

"You don't understand," Paige mumbled as she slid down the back of her door before sitting in a heap.

Emily lay wide awake once again. She kept locking and unlocking her phone, hoping and praying Paige would text back.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys. Thank you so much for continuing to read and review, you are all making my day! Here's another chapter, I hope you enjoy. Thanks :)**

102 messages. Not even a letter in return, not even a goofy face. Emily sighed. What was it going to take to get Paige to talk to her? Swim practice had been an awkward mess the past 3 nights and with Noel's party tomorrow night she was at a loss with what to do with herself. Paige had even cancelled the extra driving help. Emily was going crazy. The girls were beginning to notice something was wrong with her but she wouldn't talk. She couldn't do that to Paige. Emily's mom was watching her play with her food for the fourth night in a row but knew by now Emily was going something she wasn't ready to discuss.

"Honey, if you want to be excused I understand. Well, I don't. But if you need to take some time your dinner clearly isn't being eaten any time soon."

"Thanks mom," Emily muttered absent mindedly. She scraped the food into the kitchen bin and left her plate in the sink. She looked at her knife as she placed it down on top. Why? Why would someone do that to themselves? Paige was right. She didn't understand. She wasn't even sure that she wanted to. She just wanted her best friend back. A little joke or even a little smirk but no. The universe wasn't on her side right now. It wasn't meant to be. The thought of being absolutely intoxicated tomorrow night was sounding more and more appealing as the seconds passed.

Emily walked almost zombie like into school after another night of being sleep deprived. She had to double take when she saw Paige sitting with the girls, laughing and joking. As the girls looked at Emily one by one, Paige turned her head to see what so eye catching. She clocked Emily faster than you could say "go sharks." She mumbled something to the girls about having to check in with Coach Fulton but she would see them all later at Noel's. Emily stared with disbelief as Paige walked away in the opposite direction. Hanna shouted hi and Aria waved with Spencer smiling slightly at Emily. She joined them, taking the seat Paige had just left vacant.

"Em. I don't want to intervene but are you two okay? You don't seem to be getting along all that fine," Hanna expressed her concern.

"We are fine. Finer than fine," Emily almost spat out. Spencer gave Hanna a look which told her not to press any further.

"Oh good, the bell. I'll see you guys later." The girls watched her leave and crumple her coffee cup before throwing it in the bin. They couldn't tell if it was anger or sadness or both.

The girls were getting ready at Hanna's when the doorbell rang. Emily looked quizzically around as she counted all 3 of her group, with Aria away for the weekend.

"That will be Paige! She's my plus one since Toby bailed." Emily just about scowled but Spencer had already left the room to go and let Paige in.

"Em please lighten up. We are about to get drunk on all kinds of levels."

"Hanna I'm fine."

"You might want to tell your face that. I don't know what's wrong but it's nothing alcohol won't fix."

"That's what you think," Emily whispered as Paige entered the room guided by Spencer. Paige almost smiled at Emily, obviously trying to keep the peace in front of their friends before looking away.

"We just have to wait on Hanna reapplying her face for the 5th time today then Caleb will drive us. Hey Em that could be you soon," joked Spencer, "especially with Paige helping you!"

Emily smiled but not with her eyes as she quickly stammered that they should get going. They all nodded and left to join Caleb.

Noel's party was in full swing when the girls and Caleb arrived. Bottles of beer were chucked their way and they split to mingle with different people. Emily headed straight for the table full of cocktails but Paige bet her to it. She decided to stick to beer for the meantime and go and watch college boys playing pool. She glanced back at Paige to see her pouring more than several amounts in the one glass to then down it in one go. Emily shook her head as she continued walking.

7 beers later and Emily wasn't caring if Paige was at the cocktail table or not, she needed something stronger. Fortunately, Paige was nowhere to be seen when Emily got there. She poured herself a mixture that shouldn't be legal and left to go outside and down it. Someone was sitting on a log with their hood up. It kind of looked like- oh great; it was Paige. Emily walked over quietly and took a place beside Paige, who looked up to see who was joining her. Upon seeing who it was she started to rise but Emily grabbed her arm.

"Paige. Please talk to me."

Paige grunted and sat back down. The alcohol was getting to her head anyway. Hopefully it would act as a buffer if Emily started anything.

"What do you want me to say, Em?"

"Anything that isn't just a noise or a look. I get that I asked about something really heavy but ignoring it isn't helping. We've never had a fight before. I wouldn't like this to be our first."

Paige looked over and locked eyes with Emily. "I don't know what to say. I don't want to talk about it."

"And that's okay. I just want you to know that I'll always be here for you. You don't have to talk about anything, I just want my friend back."

Paige looked away as she answered Emily, "I'll try my best, Em. I'm sorry for being this way. I just flipped out when you noticed. I didn't know what to do. I was so scared," Paige was choking back tears.

"Hey, come here," Emily said as she enveloped Paige in the first hug they had shared in days. They held on tightly, breathing into each other's necks, not wanting to be the first to let go. Emily could breathe again.

 _"How's the hangover :-)"_

Emily almost fell out of bed when she saw Paige's name flash across her screen.

 _"Awful. Thank God there's no swim practice today. My head is swimming fine all by itself."_

 _"You never could handle your drink xD"_ Emily laughed and happily sighed as she rolled over to fall back asleep knowing all was well once again.

A few hours later and she had regained enough energy and enough time to be able to attend her driving lesson. She was going out looking like something from the horrors she liked but that didn't matter; last night was worth it.

Mid October. Almost Halloween, almost time until Emily was holding down the fort for the weekend. Which actually meant throwing a crazy Halloween party, courtesy of Hanna. The past few weeks had seen her and Paige back to normality; swimming, driving and curled up watching horrors. Paige hadn't brought up anything regarding Emily's concerns but Emily was waiting patiently. She would get there one day. She just wasn't sure when that day would be. Her thoughts regrouped as she sat down with Paige on her right, Hanna on her left, Spencer and Aria across from them, all ready to eat lunch.

"Okay so vodka? We can throw in red food colouring to make it look like blood," Hanna eagerly suggested.

"I like it!" Paige squealed, "we can all help out with the baking beforehand, right Em?"

Emily smiled at them both. "Sure. As long as there's no repeat of the empanada saga," she laughed. The group giggled as they reminisced.

"I want you to be careful. Lock the doors and windows. No answering the door without checking who it is. Don't answer the phone if it's an unknown called ID. No parties. No alcohol. Did I mention no parties?"

"Unfortunately, yes you did mom. Go. Your flight won't wait for even you," Emily subtly told her mom to leave. They hugged goodbye and Pam was on her way to catch a Saturday mid-morning flight. Emily, on the other hand, was about to leave for a driving lesson. She now actually looked forward to them as Paige was helping her a lot during the week. They had even began talking about road trips during spring break. Emily just had to pass the tests first.

An hour later she returned home to get changed before the group came over to help set up.

 _"How red are we making the drink again xD?"_

" _Just pick up whatever you can Paige. And please hurry up, I'm getting lonely."_

" _Aww :-( don't worry I'll be there soon :-)"_

 _"See you later!"_

A clattering in the hallway announced the arrival of Hanna and her going overboard in the form of what looked like an AA member's dark past. Hanna sure knew the meaning of a party.

"I hope you at least got some food to soak all that up," laughed Emily, "How did you even persuade your mom to buy all of that?"

"Let's just say momma Marin thinks way more than 30 people are coming to this 'small gathering'," Hanna snorted.

Spencer and Aria were next to get there with Paige not far behind. They seemed to be carrying the food Hanna had "forgotten" to pick up. Paige was talking to Spencer excitedly about costumes. She and Emily were dressing complimentary but they didn't want to ruin the surprise. Spencer was dressing as Elizabeth Bennett with Toby as Mr Darcy. Hanna wanted to go as Barbie with Caleb as Ken but he opted for army Action Man instead. Aria was going as a snowman; no Ezra meant no need for dressing up. They were getting almost annoyed at not being able to guess Paige and Emily's costumes so they get to work on the food and drink instead.

The amount of drink laid out in the kitchen was enough to give every single one of them alcohol poisoning but that was understandable considering how much they all liked to down. The blood red of the vodka was making Aria feel sick so she chose decorating the house instead with help from Spencer. Hanna was already tipsy and went upstairs to try different Barbie looks. This left Emily and Paige alone in the kitchen to cook.

"So we got pastries, pasta, pizza, candy, I think all we have left to do are the cakes?" Emily asked Paige.

"Yeah. We saved the best till last but this part requires an apron," laughed Paige.

"I actually own aprons funnily enough. Here, catch!" Emily tossed one at Paige.

"I can't tie this. I feel like a T-Rex," Paige joked as she struggled to put a knot in her apron.

"Here, let me." Paige's breath hitched as Emily caught her off guard, winding her arms around the other girl's waist while staring at her mouth.

"There. Wasn't as hard as it looked," grinned Emily, still staring at Paige's lips.

"It's always harder than it looks.. Speaking of, do you want yours tied?"

"Go for it," Emily said lowly as she bit her lip and turned around for Paige to reach her ties. Paige let her hands rest slightly above them and ran her hands down Emily's back slightly before actually tying her apron.

"That's so tight Paige," moaned Emily.

"Okay. I'll do it again." Paige put one hand firmly on Emily's hip while she pulled the knot with her other hand. She tied it delicately this time and let her hands rest for a second too long.

"Let's make some cakes," smiled Paige as she let go of a very confused Emily.

"Just one more then I promise we will get ready," pleaded a very tipsy Emily.

Paige rolled her eyes and sighed. "Fine but if you don't remember your own name later then don't blame me."

"I'm sure I'll make you say it anyway," Emily whispered in Paige's ear as she poured another shot. Paige looked away before standing up to get changed. She left the bathroom 5 minutes later as a very feminine Batman.

"Paige, you gotta try this stuff, it's... wow. Who knew Batman could look so hot?" Emily looked Paige up and down as the other girl blushed. She felt as though she were being undressed by Emily's eyes.

"C'mon. We have to do your makeup and people are already arriving."

"Okay Miss grumpy," laughed Emily. Paige sat down across from her with her makeup bag, crossing her legs. Emily shuffled closer before staring at Paige.

"Can I help you, Em?"

"You have such pretty brown eyes. Like melted chocolate. And your jawline could've been chiselled by Adonis himself. And your-"

"Em, stop. I think the cocktails have well and truly taken over your ability to even process what you're saying." Paige was putting this down to Emily's drunkenness but a small part of her hoped this was a side that sober Emily was too scared to show. Paige picked up a can of green spray dye and went to down on Emily's hair. Emily giggled at the tingly feeling.

Next, Paige pulled out white face paint and carefully pulled Emily's face into her left hand while sponging it with her right. Emily was captivated by Paige's eyes and didn't look away once.

"Ooooh I make an awesome Joker so far," Emily buzzed as she caught herself in her mirror.

"You do indeed. Just your eyes and mouth and then we're done."

"Can I have your eyes instead?" slurred Emily.

"Shhh."

Paige switched sponges and began to blacken Emily's eyes. As Emily opened them again they stared at each other.

Paige quickly pulled out a lip brush and red paint and then went on to finish Emily's face.

"Do you ever just wanna kiss someone?"

"Uh what? Em, no. What are you talking about?"

"I think you know exactly what I'm talking about," Emily whispered as she leaned forward into Paige, mouths meeting in the midst of Paige's shock.

"Hey, you're getting your makeup all over me," Paige complained as she pulled away slightly.

"Oh no that's okay, _I'm_ going to be all over you"...


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys. Thanks for sticking with the story. It hasn't been too great so far so I will try to better it :) Might start to flick between the P.O.V for more insight, let me know if that doesn't work :) Will update with a slightly longer chapter later!**

Emily awakened with the mother of all headaches. She groaned as she tried to lift her head before letting it crash back down. Maybe there was such a thing as too many spirits. She opened her eyes slightly to inspect her pillow. Oh great. White makeup everywhere. Her arm stretched out as she went to roll over but instead bumped into something- someone. Her eyes widened as she sat up fully to check who was occupying the other side. She felt her heart kick starting when she realised it was only Paige. No recollection of the previous night though. She shook Paige's shoulder gently. Paige took a good few shakes before gradually opening her eyes and then almost jumping from the bed.

"Paige why are you jumping?" Emily clearly couldn't recall any of her actions.

"You just. The makeup. Sorry," Paige stammered as she rose from the bed, "Don't you have a driving lesson soon?" she quizzed as she looked frantically at the clock which read 1:37 PM.

"Uh no. I have one tomorrow instead. Something told me I'd be a wreck today and I was absolutely right. I'm gonna make pizza and take up residence right here. You are more than welcome to join."

Paige couldn't let Emily know anything was wrong. If she refused, Emily would know. "Hmmm okay. We are not watching The Grudge again are we?"

Emily laughed and shook her head. "I would like some more sleep though, feels like someone took a sledgehammer to my head."

Paige nodded before lying back down, with considerably more space between the girls but she had no intention of sleeping.

Emily couldn't think of why Paige was being weird but she hoped sleep would help.

* * *

Paige flicked between Spencer and Hanna on her phone. Who would be more understanding? Who would be more helpful? Who wouldn't make jokes? Spence. It had to be.

"Uh hey Spence, listen I need to talk to you."

"Hi Paige. Why are we whispering?"

"Em's still asleep. It's urgent. Can you come over?"

"To Emily's? Sure. I'll even bring coffee."

"Thank you Spencer."

"Don't mention it, I'll see you soon."

"Bye."

Paige disconnected the call just as Emily started to stir. Oh no. Paige started to panic, she couldn't deal with this right now.

"Who are you talking to?" Emily asked drowsily.

"Spence just phoned to tell me that she's bringing reinforcements in the form of caffeine."

"Ooo yay!" Emily managed to slip out before sleep pulled her under once more.

Paige got up silently and walked over to the bedroom door. She twisted the handle very slowly so as not to wake sleeping beauty. She breathed a sigh of relief when the door was safely shut behind her. From through the frosted glass on the front door she could see Spencer's outline gradually getting bigger so she ran downstairs to grab the door. Just in time. Spencer almost jumped out of her skin.

"Hiii Paige. Are you having withdrawal symptoms or something?" Spencer laughed as she entered through the house to the kitchen.

"I wish," Paige said, alerting Spencer that something was wrong. Spencer dropped the light-heartedness and placed her hand on Paige's shoulder as they sat down at the kitchen table.

Paige felt sick as she went over in her head what she was going to say. She still didn't even know how she felt about it. She didn't even know if it was real. Hopefully Spence would make some logic of the situation and if she couldn't then it was all damned.

"Sooo. The weirdest thing happened last night..."

* * *

Emily woke up for a third and final time. The smell of coffee was too much to ignore. She turned over to check on- where was she? A buzzing sound of voices came from the kitchen and Emily was confused for a second. Oh right. Spence was the carrier of coffee. The same coffee that still wasn't being drunk at this very moment in time. Emily ripped off the bedsheets and ran downstairs lightly but she stopped at the bottom. As she had gotten there the kitchen door had been closed from the inside. Why would Spencer and Paige want the door closed? Her curiosity got the better of her and she creeped up to the door without making a sound.

Paige was the one talking, "So she said that and then she just kissed me. Out of nowhere." Spencer gasped and Emily racked her brains to remember who was at her party last night. Who had Paige been shacking up with?

"Paige. You have to talk to her. You both need to know where you stand. That's too big to just try and downplay."

Who. Were. They. Talking. About?! Emily rattled off every girl in her head one by one. None of them made sense. Unless it was just a one way crush one of them had on Paige. But then why would Paige be making such a big deal out of that? She would have laughed about it with Emily and that would have been the end of it. What on Earth was going on?

"I know. I will. Causing mayhem just like her character; it's quite fitting that she was dressed as the Joker huh?" Paige sighed.

No. Nooo. Emily almost fell over. What? No. She listened more intently in case the alcohol was still warping her perception of things.

Spencer laughed. "She has definitely thrown a spanner in the works. I think you should just talk things through with her, she's been through a lot and probably take it a lot easier than you think. And why is your face... is that makeup?"

"Uh yeah. Joker makeup. I couldn't avoid it when Em was throwing herself at me."

Oh god. She just said it. Emily froze on the spot. Little traces of the previous night were coming back to her. Oh no. No no no. She had to get out of there. The only thing she grabbed on her way out was her cellphone to call Hanna on her way to Hanna's house.

* * *

"Thank you so much for listening to this. I know she doesn't open up like she used to. Before..."

"Before Ali," Spencer finished Paige's sentence, "yeah. You're different though, Paige. You're the only person she exposes her vulnerable side to. She even closed off to us eventually. Anyway, we should probably wake her before she sleeps forever."

Paige laughed as they both stood up. Spencer shouted "Em" several times before actually going upstairs.

"Paige she's not up here."

"What? Where is she?"

"I don't know. I'm just as clueless as you are."

"I'll wait on her coming back, I know you're meeting Toby."

Spencer thanked Paige as she hugged her before leaving. "Please call me when she gets home." Paige nodded to Spencer's request and walked her out.

From the living room window she watched Spencer walk away and then put her head in her hands. What was happening? Was Emily just drunk? Was she expressing something real? She wondered where Emily could've went as well as why she would've left.

Her question was answered two minutes later by a text from Hanna. It read: "Em knows what she did. She'll be home later."

Paige thanked Hanna for the heads up. So Emily overheard them talking? Now Paige felt really great. Not only did Emily forget about coming on to her, she ran away when she found out about it. Just great.

* * *

"Em you did what?! No way," Hanna's grin could split the sky.

"Hanna it's not funny," scowled Emily, "I screwed up, mega screwed up. Oh man I was just so wasted."

"That doesn't mean anything. I get drunk all the time, doesn't mean I want to get off with my friends who I have no feelings for. No matter how hot they might look."

Emily felt sick at that comment. Hanna had a point. She wouldn't be even remotely interested in Paige that way, drunk or sober, if her feelings were purely platonic.

"I've ruined everything in that case Han."

"The fact she was still there this morning proves otherwise. And you said she was talking about it right? That means there's more to it than making a big deal or trying to move past it. You guys have to talk."

Emily winced at the thought of facing Paige. She would rather shove her head in a blender right now. There was no way Paige felt anything. The conversation she had with Spencer proved that. Her childhood best friend would not even find her attractive in the slightest never mind fall in love with her. Emily couldn't decide if that would be a relief or a gut wrenching sucker punch. This in itself made her heart ache. How could one night mess up so many things?

"You're right. But what do I say?"

"Well firstly, apologise for coating the poor girl in makeup," laughed Hanna. It was going to be a long afternoon for Emily...

* * *

Paige anxiously watched the clock as it quickly approached half past 5. Her fingernails showed evidence of her nerves. A few hours alone with her thoughts were turning her into a paranoid wreck. She just wished Emily would come home to sort this.

As if by magic, Emily walked through the door. She mumbled to Paige that she didn't know what to say. Paige decided to take the whole situation by the reigns.

"Okay. I have two scenarios. Scenario 1: you were beyond drunk last night and your hormones got the better of you. You wanted to kiss anyone but it happened to be me you got to. We laugh about it and agree to lock the memory away, safe between the only 4 people who know about it. We stay as best friends and forget it ever happened. We eat pizza and watch horrors and mock each other. I teach you driving and you irritate me at swimming. I call you when you work late shifts to make sure you get home again. We plan ridiculous parties and win swim meets. We get up at silly o'clock and race laps in the pool. We feed each other breakfast. We have a great time with each other. We make plans for you birthday in 18 days. We joke. You call me out. I laugh at you.

Emily had a lump in her throat. Something deep within her knew Paige didn't want to explain scenario 2. Emily shook her head, "you don't get it."

"I do get it. It was one of those awkward situations designed to test our friendship's resilience and we will bounce back. I promise," urged Paige, "we're going to shower then make pizza and watch rubbish horror films because that's just how interesting our lives are."

The lump in Emily's throat was now a golfball but she agreed with Paige. She didn't want to, but she did. Her best friend didn't want anything and so by default neither did she.

* * *

Paige was left reeling at what she had just said to Emily. She had pretty much put the nail in the coffin that was the possibility of anything further happening. She didn't want to, but she did. The whole thing felt wrong but she had to go with Emily's decision and act like it didn't bother her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! Apologies for the lateness. In response to one of the reviews, yes Paige is gay, I'll explain that a little further. Thanks for reading and commenting. It's appreciated as always. Was going to do one long chapter but I'm just going to split it. Oh and dates/months will probably have no correlation with the way the dates are falling in real life.**

Paige lay on Emily's bed waiting on her to finish showering. Her thoughts were going a hundred miles a minute. Everything she thought she knew had been tipped on its head. Emily was just about the only girl Paige had never thought of that way. Sure, she made jokes about it all the time but that was all it was. Why now? Even in the most unlikely scenario where Emily did have actual feelings, she wasn't sure either of them would want to ruin what they had. It had taken their whole lives to get to where they were today. The thought of secrets, intimate conversations, safety v.s risking it all for one moment of lust scared Paige. It couldn't happen. She just hoped Emily would see it that way. Well Emily was going along with the first scenario so in theory everything should feel fine, right? But something felt so wrong to Paige. Like when you miss a step on the stairs, when you feel the urge to sneeze while holding a cup, when you swallow your food the wrong way. She just didn't feel right.

Emily stood for what felt like an eternity as the water fell over her. She had hardly moved at all, just standing, thinking, freaking out. In a matter of seconds she had driven a wedge between her and the most important person in her life. Paige had shot her down before they even discussed a different scenario. Maybe in an alternate universe, Emily didn't screw anything up. Or maybe, just maybe, Paige wasn't too quick to shut her down. But this was the universe she was in. She had to deal with it, or not. The shower water masked the tears as she started to well up. The complexity of the situation made her head hurt. It shouldn't have been this hard but it was. Who knew a few cocktails and a best friend led to so many questions? Unfortunately, they were past pretending it didn't happen. Emily was well aware of that. They were caught between the darkness and the dawn. Which side they ended up on, they'd have to wait and see.

Paige prepared herself as she she heard Emily shut off the water. She realised she'd been lying in towels since she showered so she hastily pulled on clothes just before Emily appeared. Paige pulled the friendliest smile she could without making it awkward. "We're still making pizza right?" She attempted to ignore the elephant in the room. Thankfully Emily smiled a little as she nodded. Paige punched the air in mock victory. Her efforts at fixing this were going okay so far. She reckoned they would normal by tonight and she hoped that wasn't just her cocky side taking over. She beckoned Emily over to the door so they could go and make a start on their pizzas. Emily obliged. Paige had a feeling Emily would make this weird so she was going to try her absolute best to lighten the mood.

Emily walked down the stairs carefully behind Paige as they made their way to the kitchen. She was counting down the minutes until her mom got home. Sadly, there were still many minutes. She offered Paige an apron and grimaced as Paige worriedly shook her head. Emily knew that was coming. The sting still hurt her, though. She watched Paige pull the sauces, meats and vegetables from the refrigerator before she herself got the bases from the cupboard. Technically they were just building pizzas but the fun was still there. Well, was until Emily had decided to lock lips with Paige. So stupid. She struggled to tie her apron but didn't dare to ask for Paige's help. She waited patiently for Paige to joke about the barbecue sauce. She didn't.

Paige watched Emily carefully as she spread sauce on her base. Her hands were shaking and the sauce wasn't even. Paige didn't know where to look. She found herself grabbing Emily's hand lightly as she guided the jerky spreading movements. The shaking came to a stop as Emily glanced at Paige. Paige didn't make eye contact with her and soon felt her look away. She went to turn the oven on just as Emily went to bin packets; they collided. They both bent down to pick up the packets and their hands brushed. Emily flinched and Paige pulled away. She couldn't try to lighten up anything. Not right now.

"Okay. I can't do this. I quit."

"Friends don't quit," mumbled Emily as she stared after Paige who was making her way out of the house.

* * *

 _"S.O.S"_ Emily sent her friends the alert as she put the pizzas in the oven, frustrated and confused. What happened to scenario 1? Oh yeah, it left with Paige. She sighed before flopping down at the table, holding her head in her hands which was how Hanna found her.

"Paige?"

"Ohhh yeah."

Spencer and Aria entered at the same time, Aria oblivious as to what was happening. Hanna filled her in before they sat down with Emily.

"Hey, Em," smiled Aria, "If you want to talk that's what we're here for."

Emily just looked at the three of them. What was she supposed to say? They knew what happened. Did they want it in graphic detail? All she wanted was company. If talking would help then she that's exactly what she would be doing but talking is hard.

"She's not talking to me. Man, I couldn't even drop something without us kicking off. I don't blame her, I really don't," confessed Emily.

"I get it. I'd totally freak if you came onto me too. Ow Spence, what was that for?!" Spencer had kicked Hanna under the table in the hope of shutting her up.

"Foot in mouth, Hanna?" Spencer snapped. Emily knew Hanna was right. She made a move on Paige out of nowhere, and given their sexualities, it couldn't be painted as a flirty, drunk kiss between friends. All it could be now was damage control.

The girls spent the rest of the night eating and laughing about past relationships. Emily retreated upstairs after they had helped clear up the house and left around 11 PM. She got into bed and felt something lumpy on the other side. Oh great. Paige had left her jumper. Emily found herself inhaling it deeply. Coconut. She then found herself crying once again. What had she done? She curled up into a ball and cried herself to sleep. Another night of over thinking wouldn't benefit anyone.

* * *

Paige, oppositely, lay awake tossing and turning. She wished she had tried harder that afternoon but she gave up so easily. She just couldn't deal with the awkwardness. She had to stay away from her. Yeah, that's what she would do. Take her out driving and go swimming but nothing else. No awkward touches, no unexpected kisses, no mess. She'd spend the next few weeks rebuilding the walls but burning bridges. It was for the best. Emily had other friends, she could deal. Paige might not be able to but that was okay. As long as Em could move on from this Paige didn't care where she would end up.

* * *

Emily heard her mom come in just as she woke up. Sleeping had had the opposite effect on her. She dragged herself up and downstairs to say hi to her mom.

"Hi honey. Emily you look like death."

"Well thanks mom." Emily couldn't bring herself to laugh, "I think I'm coming down with something."

"Oh go on back to bed, sweetie. I'll bring you milk and cookies."

"As much as I'd love to, I have work and then a driving lesson. But please hold that thought until 7 tonight." Pam nodded and squeezed Emily's shoulder.

* * *

Paige was sitting in The Brew with her usual bagel and an orange juice. Sundays were her chill day. Unluckily for her, she wasn't so chill when Em got there. It completely slipped her mind that Em had changed shifts. She mentally hit herself. Stupid Paige. She had to at least finish her food. Facebook provided some cover, who said social networking was a bad thing? She slyly watched Emily slip into the back room; she must start slightly later than Paige thought. 3 more bites and half a glass left. Time was on her side. But Emily was starting early.

* * *

Emily left the back room after tying her apron and scraping her hair back. She grabbed a notepad and went to talk to her boss behind the counter. It wasn't until she looked up to check on customers that she clocked Paige. She groaned internally. The only plus was that Paige had already been served. Another girl walked over to Paige and put her hand on her shoulder. Emily's eyes narrowed before glazing over with green. Who was Paige talking to? She watched Paige talk animatedly to this mysterious girl. The girl pulled a pen from behind her ear and took Paige's hand to write on it. Un-be-lievable. She couldn't even talk to Emily but she was happy to go calling random girls. What? Okay she was done. That did it for her. She watched Paige leave 5 minutes after mysterious girl. Probably going to meet up with her already. Sick, sick, sick.

* * *

Paige left The Brew feeling slightly happier after learning her cousin, Alex, had stopped by for a few weeks to surprise Paige. She transferred the number from her hand into her phone; she'd told Alex she'd rather have her stay at her house than a motel, give them some time to catch up. Thinking of what to do later, she phoned her dad to let him know about Alex. The thought of having someone close to talk to made her feel more at ease. Maybe she would be able to deal with the Emily situation after all.

Back at home Paige was setting up the guest room so it looked fresh. Alex was getting a taxi over and would be arriving soon. Nick was just as excited as Paige as he didn't really keep in touch with Paige's mother's side of the family after she passed. That wasn't because he didn't want to keep in touch, connections just faded after a while. Her dad was in the kitchen making dinner when Alex made an appearance. Paige lifted her bags up to the guest room and let Alex in to speak to Nick. She overheard them talking about Alex's mom; her aunt, Nick's sister-in-law. Alex reported that everyone on that side of the family were doing okay and were asking after Paige and Nick. Paige felt weird when people actually spoke about her mom's relatives. It seemed to be a taboo subject in her household. Paige understood that was her dad's way of dealing with it, but 5 years on should be enough time surely. Sometimes it was like her mom hadn't existed. Paige had no one to talk to about her. But Alex was here and she would happily remember the good times with Paige.

The 3 of them sat down to dinner for what was the beginning of a very pleasant evening. Paige was looking forward to the forthcoming weeks. Although absent of Emily, they held some fun times with Alex.

* * *

Emily barely got through work without taking someone's head off. Just as well The Brew was relatively quiet on a Sunday. The sun was setting when Emily had finished her shift. She knew it would be cold out so she put on more layers and a scarf. Stephen was picking her up anyway but it didn't hurt to be wrapped up.

"Hi, Emily. How are you?"

"Don't ask," Emily said bluntly.

"Easy tiger," joked Stephen, "today we're gonna focus on reverse parking."

"Oh great. Something else I can mess up" ...

* * *

Paige sat with Alex in her kitchen as they both attempted Paige's English homework. If only essays were as easy as swimming. Even Alex's extra three years ahead of Paige wasn't helping much but they were still trying to muddle through. They talked mostly about their summers as kids. Playing sports at their lake house, family barbecues in the evening, swimming at sundown... back when everything was simple. Heck, Emily even joined them some summers. Looks like Emily wasn't joining her for even breakfast ever again never mind summers at lake houses.

* * *

School without swim practice was a drag for Emily. She hated Mondays, although not as much as she hated the Paige situation. Mysterious girl was still exactly that. Emily couldn't bring herself to talk to Paige after her outburst and the girl was the icing on the cake.

"Still not talking, huh?" asked Hanna as they all sat down for lunch. Emily shook her head without actually looking up. She debated whether she should tell them about the other girl but she knew one of them would confront Paige and that would defeat the point of not talking to her. Aria decided to point the conversation in a new direction to avoid angering anyone. Emily's birthday party became the topic which completely changed the mood. Spencer was hosting it at her lake house and the girls were taking care of everything for Em. Aria was on aesthetics, Hanna; alcohol, Spencer; guest list. All Emily had to do was turn up. Her actual birthday was on Wednesday the 19th of November so they were having it the Saturday of that week. Only 19 days away! Everyone was relatively excited.

* * *

Paige spent the next few weeks swimming; recreationally with Alex and training with her team, taking trips to Philly at night, being very confused over homework and assignments, and most importantly, ignoring Emily. She found the latter the most excruciating task but the most rewarding. The nights were the worst. After Alex was asleep, Paige would lie for hours and stare at her ceiling wondering how Emily was doing, fighting the urge to text her. Her idea to keep up driving didn't work out. She thought it was for the best and Spence was helping out anyway in place of Paige.

Emily spent her weeks swimming, driving and hating herself. Her nights were spent silently sobbing and falling asleep when there were no more tears to give. Her friends had given up trying to keep her happy because ultimately, her happy place was non existent at the moment. She could try her hardest to smile but it would never reach her eyes, she could try to laugh but it would never reach her gut, she could try to tell herself it was all okay but it would never reach her soul. She needed comfort, she needed Paige.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! Thanks for continuing to read and review :) here is the other half of the split, kinda short chapter but it sets them up for the rest of the story hopefully. Update, I made two really bad grammar mistakes in the last paragraph so I re-uploaded this, forgot to double check before uploading the first time, sorry!**

Emily woke up with a sinking feeling even though it was her birthday. The most contact she'd had with Paige was stumbling into her at yesterday's swim practice. They couldn't even look at each other. She sighed as she realised this would be the first birthday without Paige. There wasn't any real point to it without her. To keep up appearances she sent a picture on Snapchat with "It's my birthdaaay" before freaking out. She forgot to not send it to Paige. To her surprise, though, Paige snapped her back with a picture of what looked like a gift with a caption that wished Em a happy birthday. Emily had no idea what was happening. She put it down to Paige being kind before getting ready to go swimming before school.

Paige had been doing a lot of thinking that week since Alex left. Emily had already been through hell with Ali and then Maya, Paige should have known better than ditch her for just over 2 weeks. It just happened to be Em's birthday on the day she decided to change things between them. When put in perspective, a lot worse could've happened and so Paige had convinced herself it was time to fix it. Emily was the one to make the first mistake, Paige was the one to make the last. She counted on Emily going to swim this morning, something Paige had been neglecting. Hastily, she closed her window before leaving and lifted the present she had for Emily. She hoped Emily would like it. Hours it had taken her to put it together as well as seeking assistance from Emily's mom.

Emily got to the pool at around 7. She was really missing Paige's presence in the morning. No one else would swim this early. The lack of jokes and messing around was slowly but surely draining Emily. She was about to enter the pool when she heard the noise of a locker opening. Could it be...? No. Surely not. But... it was. Emily scrunched her face in confusion as Paige walked through the door. Was she kidding right now?

Paige walked apprehensively as soon as she saw the expression on Emily's face. The first thing she said was, "I come baring gifts," in an attempt to be funny. Emily's face lightened a little. Paige stretched the bag out in front of her to hand to Emily as she said happy birthday.

Emily took the bag that was being held out in front of her. She told Paige she would open it later as she really wanted to get in the pool. Paige nodded as she swallowed really loudly. Emily asked her if she was still coming on Saturday and entered the pool after Paige confirmed she was.

* * *

After a long day of swimming, driving with Spencer, dinner with her mom, and replying to endless "Happy Birthday!"s Emily finally got 5 minutes to herself to open Paige's gift. The card Paige had given her surprised her. It was comprised of every hand-made card Paige had made Emily when they were young. Stick Emily next to stick Paige, both with 4 fingers and triangles for noses, and happy birthday scrawled in different colours of ink markers. Emily looked inside the card and felt mixed feelings over what Paige had written.

 _"Dear Emily, I'm sorry. I really am. I shouldn't have let something like that come between us. I've been thinking of you every night and my stubborn side got the better every time. Giving you this might be a mistake or it might be the glue we need. I hope we can get back to annoying the hell out of each other soon. I've missed you. Happy Birthday misses! I hope you have a great day. Love always, Paige x P.S I hope you remember."_

After seeing what the unwrapped gift was, the last sentence made sense to Emily. A jar of peanut butter. This was the earliest memory Emily had of Paige that didn't stem from photographs or stories. They must have been around 3. Pam was watching Paige for the weekend and Emily was obviously there. 3 year old Emily thought it to be tragic that Paige was deprived of certain foods by her over achieving parents who wanted the same for their daughter. Emily introduced Paige to peanut butter and Pam found them in Emily's room with two little teaspoons and messy faces as evidence. Every moment after that with Paige, Emily could recall. They were "buddies for life" according to 3 year old Paige. She hadn't been wrong. Emily opened the other little box to which Paige had stuck a post-it on. "Wear me :-)" it said. She emptied it into her hand. It was a silver bracelet with "buddies for life" engraved into it with a goofy smile at the end. Trust Paige to ruin nice jewellery with a dorky face, she laughed to herself. The last present was an envelope. Wondering what it could be, she opened it carefully. She finally smiled when she got it open. Tickets to a concert next March that her mom had refused to buy. She had to text Paige.

 _"Hey Paige. I don't really know what to say but thank you so much for the presents. Seriously it was all too much. Can we go swimming again tomorrow before school?"_

 _"Oh shh Em xD Of course, shall I pick you up :-)?"_

 _"Sure. I gotta go to bed, it's been a long day."_

 _"Okay :-) Night night Em"_

 _"Goodnight Paige. I'll see you later."_

For the first time in weeks, both girls went to sleep with a smile on their faces. It was all going to be okay.

* * *

"Vodka - check, alcopops - check, beer - check..."

"Alcoholism - check," mocked Spencer as Hanna got ready to leave for the lake house. After all of the drink was loaded into the car there was only room for Caleb to drive Spencer and Hanna. Aria was going to swing by with Mike and Toby, and Paige was taking Emily. It was a cold Saturday so everyone was wrapped up warmly. They intended to get in such a state where additional clothing was no longer necessary.

Paige was calm and collected until she saw Emily leave her house. She was wearing a black strapless dress, tapered halfway down her thighs. Hair falling down in waves of silk. Eyes sparkling with life. Paige only began to laugh as Em started to shiver on her walk to the car. Paige turned on the car's heater just as Emily opened the passenger door. Paige shook her head in a jokey manner as Emily pulled her seatbelt on. They put on band CDs on the way there and sang to each other with Emily playing air guitar and Paige slamming her hands on the wheel as drums.

They were deliberately the last people there as Spencer wanted everyone to be there before Emily. Exiting the car, Emily saw everyone from a distance. The cold hit her and she started to shiver again. Paige laughed before taking her jacket off and putting it on Emily. The other girl was very grateful to have a layer of warmth at long last. She walked very tenderly as she was wearing very high heels with Paige walking cautiously behind her in case of accidents. Fortunately, no one fell and they both made it inside the house to a cheer from a large group of their friends for Emily who smiled and looked towards the floor shyly. Hanna bounced over with beers for them and dragged them into the middle of the room to where the party was at. They were spend at least a few hours drinking and dancing at the hands of Hanna.

As it approached half past midnight, several people were beginning to leave as only the group were staying. By this point, Emily was a drunken wreck; one of her more notorious qualities. She still couldn't handle her drink. She watched some girl flirt with Paige. It was like someone flipped a switch in her.

"Heeey Paige," she slurred as Paige quickly got up and said bye to the girl who she was just talking to. Paige smiled at Emily.

"Sooo. Not only do you come to _my_ birthday party and not talk to _me,_ you have the nerve to flirt with some other girl?" Emily grilled Paige who erupted into hysterics.

"Emily what are you talking about? I drove you here. I danced with you till like 11. I sat down to rest for a bit. I can't believe you."

"Nooo. I can't believe _you._ That's the second girl. And yet here I am still. Waiting, watching, nothing."

Paige looked at Emily in disbelief while Hanna looked on silently. Aria and Spencer had cleared out a long time ago.

"What 'second girl' are you talking about? Who is the first?"

"That girl in The Brew. The one who scribbled, wait _dribbled_ her digits all over you."

"You mean Alex? My cous-"

"Cousin Alex. Oh." Emily had gotten it wrong. She was sure she would've recognised Alex but it had been a few years. Oh. Hanna was enjoying the drama but she swiftly left in case it kicked off to go and join Spence and Aria outside.

Paige knew Emily was drunk but so was she. She couldn't understand why it was a big deal. "Please explain why you care."

Emily edged closer until she was standing face to face with Paige. "You have never once looked at me like that. Paige, I'm jealous. So literally green-eyed, physically jealous of every girl you talk to."

Paige gulped as she stared at Emily, "What..."

"There, I said it. I like you, a lot. I didn't realise until Halloween. I get that the booze is really talking right now and I might regret this-"

Paige silenced her with a kiss before pulling away. She knew the magnitude of her actions but she also knew it had to happen.

Emily stood still staring intensely at Paige.

"Scenario 2: We put nothing behind us, we embrace our feelings. We admit we find each other attractive in every sense of the word. We realise we are drawn to each other in every way. We are beyond drunk and our hormones are getting the better of us but we know it's the side we're too afraid to show when we're sober. You only want to kiss me. We make sure more than 4 people know about it. We stay as best friends and remember this as we move into something more. We eat pizza and watch horrors and mock each other. I teach you driving and you irritate me at swimming. I call you when you work late shifts to make sure you get home again. We plan ridiculous parties and win swim meets. We get up at silly o'clock and race laps in the pool. We feed each other breakfast. We have a great time with each other. We joke. You call me out. I laugh at you. I look at you like you put the stars in the sky. I protect you and most importantly, I love you. Now and always."


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! Seriously thank you all so much for reading. There are so many better fics and the fact you guys are taking time to read this is amazing. Short chapter, please bear with it haha.**

Paige was the first to wake up out of everyone as she was too warm; she'd forgotten to open a window before she fell asleep as she had been a little drunk. Oh. She remembered how last night went which reminded her to check on Em who'd been carried upstairs lovingly by Paige and Hanna. Panic struck Paige as she recalled what happened last time. On her fingers she tried to count what Em had had to drink but gave up when she used each digit twice. The only way to check was to see Emily. Paige looked over at Spencer and Aria who had curled up and crashed together on the couch to make sure they were still out of it. There wasn't a chance in hell that Hanna would be up yet so Paige was clear to go and rouse Emily. She almost gagged at the sight of herself when she walked by a mirror on her way upstairs. Last night sure was a night to remember.

Emily woke when she heard the door of the room she was sleeping in creak open. She propped herself up on one elbow as she watched Paige's face appear; a hell of a headache but no memory loss this time. They both smiled as Paige quietly closed the door behind her. With great effort Emily pulled herself up and met Paige halfway across the room. Brown eyes watching brown eyes. Emily gently put her fingers through Paige's.

"Scenario 2. I like it," Emily grinned shyly.

"Good because I like you," Paige smiled back.

The sound of teen girls rising from the almost dead forced the two to leave the room and unhook hands. A very hungover Hanna waved at them from the bathroom as she went to puke her guts up. Paige pulled a face and Emily giggled as they walked downstairs. Aria's face was contorted with pain and Spencer looked like she'd been dragged through a bush backwards. Behold; the poster girls for the dangers of under age drinking. They collectively groaned as they looked at the amount of cans and bottles littering the place. Fun.

* * *

This was yet another weekend where Emily regretted taking the Sunday shift, on the plus side Paige came in for her bagel on a Sunday and her face was worth seeing.

"How's my favourite hungover barista?" laughed Paige as Emily walked over carrying her food.

"Exactly that: hungover. I finish in 2 hours so I'm praying I last. Did you guys get the lake house clean?"

"With a cranky Spencer, oh yes," Paige told to Emily's amusement.

"I've gotta keep working but I'll come over to yours later if that's okay?"

"Of course it is. We can swim for a few hours. I'll pick you up around 7 from here if you want?"

"Sure thing. I'll see you later then," smiled Emily as Paige got up to leave. She watched her walk down the street with a small smile on her face.

* * *

Paige's windshield had little patterns of frost decorating the sides; it was becoming very cold in Rosewood as they ventured into the winter months. To Paige's surprise, Emily had actually wrapped up and wasn't shivering as she left The Brew. She wore a dark leather jacket, thick gloves, an even thicker scarf and a little pink hat. Aw. She looked so young and innocent. Paige turned the heater on as Emily got in her car to save herself an earful.

"I could sleep for a week, Paige."

"Trust me, I know. We definitely have to get in some laps though or we'll make slugs look like Michael Phelps tomorrow morning." Emily laughed at Paige's dorky comparison.

They were at Paige's within a few minutes. Paige opened Emily's door for her as she carefully navigated her way out, still nursing a delicate head situation. God knows how she was going to survive a couple of hours in a freezing pool. The thought of it scared her actually. She could just about hear Emily's moans already.

Emily stood behind Paige as she unlocked her front door, clocking the tight jumper she was wearing which was accentuating her athletic waist. All Emily's now. She smiled to herself as they went upstairs to get changed. It was all so fast but it was all so good. Paige tossed one of Emily's swimsuits at her face as she left to go and get changed in the bathroom. Emily hoped they'd reach the stage where this wasn't necessary but all in good time.

A few minutes later they were about to go outside.

"I'm totally going to out swim you. You can barely walk in a straight line," Paige said mockingly over her shoulder to Emily.

"Paige I could still be 100% drunk and still beat you."

"Is that fighting talk?"

"You bet," Emily smirked as she pushed Paige outside. She wished she didn't when the cold hit her. Paige grabbed her from behind in a tight cuddle.

"You're shaking Emily Fields. Is the cold too much for you?"

"No. Let's do this," Emily said as she clutched Paige's arms around her waist.

They both climbed into the water and instantly started to shiver; teeth chattering, goosebumps, muscles tensing. Emily pulled Paige's hand under the water as she swam towards her. Paige placed her hand just above the behind of Emily's knee and pinned her to the side of the pool. She put her hands on either side of Emily as she looked at her.

Emily bit her lip as she stared at Paige's mouth. "Suddenly, I don't feel so cold."

* * *

Paige lay in bed sending goofy snaps to Emily after driving her home. She felt happy again. It was going to be a chore hiding this from the group but it would be worth it. Emily had insisted on keeping it a secret for her own reasons and promised Paige she'd tell them in her own time. Paige had no objections to this; she was just glad she had the chance to make Emily happy.

At half 6 the following day Paige got up with a spring in her step. The faster she got ready, the faster she could see Em.

Emily lay awake, counting down the seconds to Paige would come. This was the first morning in a long time she actually didn't mind being awake. She got to see Paige's face, that was the one and only reason she didn't care that it was still dark outside. She punched the air with joy as her phone buzzed; she'd beaten her alarm. Happily, she jumped out of bed and got dressed quicker than usual. No foam beards in the bathroom either as she hummed and whistled while brushing her teeth. She heard Paige pull up outside and proceeded to hop, skip, jump and almost fall down the stairs. Quietly, she unlocked and opened her front door. She paced to Paige's car, smiling as she opened the passenger side door.

"You know that time you joked about me sitting in your lap, how about it?" teased Emily with a glint in her eye.

Paige grabbed Emily from beneath as she climbed into Paige's lap.

"Now how about I kiss you?"


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys! Sorry about the delay; stuff came up :( I'm not 100% sure how universities work in the U.S so excuse my ignorance if details are wrong at any point in the story haha. Thanks so much for continuing to read this x**

Tuesday swim practice. 2 days since Emily's party which everyone was talking about. People had been begging the girls to host more parties which wasn't a bad suggestion in all honesty. Paige wouldn't mind getting drunk with Emily now. She looked around at her team mates. Everyone was truly in top shape which was going to make the weekend's meet a lot easier to get through. More scouts were dropping by and no-one could afford to mess up. Coach Fulton reckoned scholarships could be given by March-May if they really put their minds to it.

Emily was wary of being to close to Paige at practice so they tried their best to mingle with their team mates instead. They just took this as the two best swimmers keeping team morale up so it was a win-win for everyone. Paige and Emily usually stayed for an extra hour after everyone had cleared out and now this extra hour was ideal. Coach Fulton waved at them whilst reminding them to lock up when they were done.

"Just you and me huh?" Paige smirked. Emily swam towards her, nodding her head. She placed her hands on either side of Paige's face and told her how beautiful she was. Paige blushed and tried to look away but Emily pulled her face back up.

"Why do you look at me like that Em?"

"I like your face."

Paige placed her own hand on Emily's arm and they stayed like that for a good few minutes before deciding to actually keep swimming. Unbeknown to one another, both of their attention's were on each other; watching their counterpart glide seamlessly through the water, driven by the need to keep up with one another. It was a perfect partnership, it always had been. Stroke after stroke and they were struggling to get tired. Once it hit half 6 they decided to call it a night. Paige left the pool first and watched Emily pull herself out, water dripping down her tanned skin, her hair falling down in ripples after taking off her swimming cap. There was pretty and then there was Emily Fields pretty, Paige had the fortune of knowing the latter.

Emily tugged at Paige's hand as they walked towards the showers. The water fell automatically as they stood beneath it, facing each other. Paige found her hands running through Emily's hair, lathering in her shampoo at the same time. Emily soaped Paige's torso and let her hands run under Paige's suit and up her back, forcing them both together with no room to breather. The lack of space led to Paige taking Emily's lip between her teeth, grinning before kissing her properly. They became one hot soapy mess beneath the falling water, rinsing them of the chemicals and their worries.

* * *

"I think you can actually drive by yourself tonight. How was your lesson?" Paige asked Emily as she climbed into the car.

"Yeah it was good. Stephen said the same thing, as long as I'm with someone who can already drive a.k.a you," smiled Emily, "jeez Paige why do you have the air con on and a window open? You're gonna freeze to death one day."

"It's cold like my soul. Kidding, I'll close it, you can turn the heater on if you want." Paige noticed Emily's lack of layers yet again and thought it was quite a brass neck Emily had complaining about the temperature but hey ho that was one of her many quirks.

* * *

"Half 6 tomorrow morning?"

"Oh my god Paige I hate getting up early," Emily moaned as Paige was dropping her off, "but if I get to see your face, of course."

"Can you come sit in my lap again?"

"No but you could come and sit in mine..."

"Deal," smiled Paige as she climbed over to Emily. Emily put her hands behind Paige's neck and pulled her mouth to hers.

* * *

Emily almost threw her phone when her alarm went off the following morning. Mornings really weren't her thing. She couldn't comprehend why Paige was always so buzzing in the morning, even before caffeine! It took Emily every ounce of her being to get to the bathroom to brush her teeth and then back to her room to get changed. She'd barely zipped her hoodie when she heard Paige's car outside. Honestly, it wasn't normal how much of a morning person that girl was.

Paige laughed in disbelief when she saw Emily shiver as she left her house. When would that girl ever learn? She closed the window and put on the heater as Emily got in, complaining about how "freezing" it was. Paige politely explained that it tends to get colder in winter before Emily shot her a look telling her to shut up. Emily sure was cranky in the morning. Paige knew how to fix that when they got to school.

As well as being crankier, Em was also more competitive in the morning and would try to trash talk Paige, who wasn't having any of this today. Emily made one little comment about her being faster than Paige. Paige took her by her wrists lightly and slammed her against the lockers with her hands above her head.

"Faster, huh? Is that what you think?"

Emily's breathing got a little faster as she felt Paige's hot breath on her face. She dared to nod. Paige stared at her, mocked anger and shook her head. She placed her mouth on the base of Emily's neck and trailed kisses around to the side where she bit lightly. Emily freed her hands and put them at the bottom of Paige's back, moving them slightly downward.

"Let's see who's truly faster. Only 3 days until the swim meet and I'll still kick your ass" Paige said with a wicked grin as she scooped an unsuspecting and then squealing Emily into her arms and over her shoulder towards the pool.

* * *

Friday night. 16 hours until the swim meet. Emily was staying at Paige's for the convenience of leaving together the next day. They'd survived a full week of secrecy and were looking forward to spending private time together that wasn't in a car or pool.

Paige had stocked her fridge full of fruit; pizza was banned the night before a meet much to Emily's disappointment. Paige was pushing them both to work out last minute some more. Currently, they were doing push ups which Emily detested but Paige had an interesting proposal.

"So, I'll sit like this and when you pull yourself up like that I'll do this..." Paige waited for Emily to pull herself up before kissing her, "... each and every time. Not so bad now, huh?" Emily laughed before continuing her reps. "And when you're done we can eat as much fruit as we want." Emily was excited for the food so kept up her reps until her stomach couldn't take it any more. She leaned into Paige on her last rep and fell over on the floor, a sheen of sweat coating her from top to bottom.

"That's my girl," grinned Paige as they locked lips. "You're so warm!"

"And you're so hot..." Emily slipped out before silencing Paige again. They managed to keep their mouths in contact as they crawled to the fridge. Paige felt her back hit the cold steel and guided herself to stand up, pulling Emily up with her, hands running over each other. The sole reason they pulled apart was the even bigger want for the strawberries they both knew were in the fridge. Paige grabbed the packet out of the fridge as well as a tub of cream before sitting down cross-legged in the middle of the floor. She looked at Emily, willing her to sit down which she did, adjacent to Paige, the strawberries and cream in the middle. Paige took one and coated it in cream. She licked it as she pulled Emily's face gently towards hers. Goading Emily slightly to open her mouth, Paige pushed the strawberry into her mouth playfully while she laughed at her reaction. Emily took the strawberry between her teeth and bit off a little bit of it. Paige took the next bite of it before passing it back to Emily.

"I think my bit tastes better than yours," teased Paige.

"Oh I'll be the judge of that," Emily joked as she grabbed Paige's mouth with her own, lips still strawberry laden.

"Yours tastes better," Paige smiled in between kisses. She dipped her finger in the cream and splashed it on Emily's face who laughed before taking revenge. She pulled herself up faster than you could say "go" to raid the fridge for whipped cream which luckily for her and unluckily for Paige was in the door. Emily sprayed it faster than Paige had time to get up. The result - cream everywhere and a very frustrated Paige. She looked at Emily in a way that suggested Emily should get the hell out of there but Emily couldn't move for laughing. Paige acted swiftly, sweeping Emily slightly and catching her in her arms. She then made sure Emily was coated in as much cream as she was. They lay rolling about in this cream until they looked at each other and the giggles stopped. Emily pulled Paige towards her to kiss her but her tongue ended up tracing the outline of Paige's jaw. Paige kissed away the cream on Emily's face, leaving a trail of hot little breaths. They watched each other with frantic desire, never quite getting enough.

* * *

The morning of the swim meet was a very cold one. Paige forced Emily to put extra jumpers because she knew that she'd moan otherwise. It had already been a battle waking her up and making her get ready on time; a third battle was not something Paige wanted just hours before a meet. She bundled Emily into her car and drove them to The Brew where Emily could wake up properly. An hour and several caffeine shots later, they made their way to school for the meet.

Naturally, Coach Fulton still sucked at pep talks so Paige and Emily waited patiently until she was gone to get the team going. Everyone was so noisy when they were eventually hyped up. Paige and Emily were psyched to get in the water and show the scouts what they were capable of.

As they walked out they bumped into Spence, Hanna and Aria who hugged them and wished them well. Emily hadn't seen them all week apart from in school and made a mental note to catch up with them later to avoid suspicion.

* * *

Today's swim meet was tough but the Sharks prevailed once again to Coach Fulton's delight. Paige and Emily were beside themselves when scouts from Stanford and Danby spoke to them both respectively. They had sparked interest and were going to have keen eyes on them throughout the rest of the swim season. Barely able to contain their excitement they raced over to their friends who shared their joy equally by squealing and squeezing them to death.

"Hey, do you think anyone would notice if we slipped away...?" Paige whispered suggestively to Emily. She got a slight shake of the head as a reply which made her smile. Emily started to talk to the locker room then signalled for Paige to start moving 5 seconds later. Everyone else was too caught up in winning and speaking to scouts to even notice them.

Once Paige joined Emily in the locker room, they couldn't continue to hide the lust. Emily pulled Paige by the strap of her swim suit towards her whilst placing her other hand on her behind. Paige grabbed Emily's waist with both hands and pulled her up, straddling her whilst pinning her to the wall. Emily smiled before nipping Paige's lip who in turn put her full mouth on Emily's. She held Emily strongly as she placed one hand on the inside of her thigh. Em ran her hands down Paige's back, stopping when she got to the small of it. They fought for air and for control almost borderline aggressively. At this moment in time they were glad they could go missing for a few minutes.

Back outside Hanna was on the hunt for Emily and Paige. She asked around until someone told her to try the locker room. Almost hitting herself for not thinking of that, she made her way over. Tentatively she pushed the door open, she did not want to catch anyone half dressed. She slipped in and turned the corner... "Oh. My. God. No freaking way."

Paige almost dropped Emily as Hanna startled them both. "Han, it's not what you think."

"Isn't it?" grinned Hanna.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! I really need to start checking the grammar/spelling in the chapters but thanks so much for sticking with this and continuing to review anyway :) and I apologise for the erratic uploads, things keep coming up. I hope it's okay for you guys so far. Oh self harm mentions again, nothing graphic and I'll try my best to get the Christmas chapter up soon :) x**

Emily panicked as she shook her head at Hanna.

"Hanna, we need to talk."

"You're damn right we do," Hanna continued to smile; she loved knowing things before other people and this was a big one. Paige left the locker room hurriedly and Emily locked the door behind her. Hanna looked at her, arms folded, grinning, waiting for Em to explain.

"So... are you two just getting it on or is there more to it?"

"Definitely more to it. I like her, as more than a friend and she feels the same."

"So the drunken kiss at Halloween wasn't a mistake?"

Emily ducked her head sheepishly.

"Oh my god, Emily. You totally made the first move!" laughed Hanna, "I'm so proud. How long have you-"

"Liked her? I have no idea. I guess if I wanted to kiss her then something had to have been there for a while. I got lucky that she liked me back. Well actually, she suggested it."

"I am so happy for you two and I must say, you're a couple of hotties so it totally works."

Emily laughed, "Thanks Han but we can't tell Aria or Spence."

"Uh why not?"

"I want to make sure it's real first. I don't want to let Paige in that way before I'm 100% certain she won't leave, that she won't wake up one day and decide to ditch me. We need time."

"Em, Paige of all people would never ditch you. But my mouth is closed don't worry. Please let me know when you decide to tell 'cause I want to be there," grinned Hanna. Emily nodded before unlocking the door.

* * *

"So she definitely isn't going to say anything?"

Emily laughed at Paige's panic as they lay entwined in Emily's bed, "No, Paige. We're safe. They'll know in good time. You were amazing today, by the way."

"As were you, as always. Hey we should go a drive before it gets too frosty outside," smiled Paige.

"Sure. I just gotta kiss you 'til you can't breathe first," Emily said as she climbed on top of Paige.

* * *

A good 15 minutes later they were making their way out to Paige's car, hot and bothered. Paige got into the passenger side and let Emily take the driver's seat, feeling pretty confident in the girl's ever improving ability. She turned on the heater and put in a CD she knew they could jam to; Kings of Leon's Mechanical Bull. They hit the road and before long Paige was taking the role of lead guitarist and backup vocals with Em belting out the songs, barely managing to keep her focus on the road. At least they knew if swimming didn't work out, forming a band was a dead certainty. An hour was spent driving and murdering various songs as well as inventing some _interesting_ dance moves. Emily was glad she could act like an idiot with Paige but then go home and kiss her. Being best friends was the most important foundation for a lasting relationship and they already had this.

A while later they were back at Paige's. Facing her dresser, Paige tossed bed attire over her shoulder at Em. Emily took it upon herself to start stripping there and then. A very unaware Paige forgot how to breathe when she turned around. Emily stood with her hoodie, and nothing else bar her brassiere, caught above her head as she'd tried to pull it off and failed miserably.

"Uh, Paige? Little help please," came Emily's muffled distress.

Paige reached out slowly and tugged gently on Emily's jumper until she was free. Emily puffed the hair from her face and smiled at Paige, "Thank you." A moment passed before Emily took Paige's arms and placed them around her, forcing them into a hug. Emily rested her face in the space between Paige's shoulder and neck, closing her eyes. Paige felt the heat radiating from Em as she played with the strands of her hair. Emily whispered excitedly, "It's like a month 'til Christmas."

Paige shivered when she felt "Christmas" on her ear. "Speaking of which, do you want anything in particular?"

"Surprise me," Emily continued to whisper. Paige groaned internally. Picking Christmas gifts wasn't her strong point and she wanted it to be perfect for Em; the most enthusiastic girl about this holiday. Maybe Paige was going to have to enlist the help of Aria's artistic side, anything to make her girl happy. She still couldn't believe Em was _her_ girl, everything had happened so fast. But she wouldn't have it any other way. Pulling away from Em slowly, she lifted the tank top she'd thrown a few minutes ago and put it on Emily. She let her hands smooth out the ripples running down the sides, touching Em's sides as she went. She hooked her forefinger under the bottom of the front and pulled Emily into her. They guided one another to the bed where they lay down, legs intertwined and facing each other; their favourite way to fall asleep. Emily murmured something about spring break before they were both out like a light.

* * *

Emily woke up first as she had her shift at The Brew but she didn't want to wake Paige. Gingerly, she moved from Paige to go and shower, making sure she tucked Paige back in. Her little sleeping beauty. Recalling one of the last times she showered at Paige's, she remembered to actually take a towel in with her this time.

Paige woke up around 15 minutes later, expecting to feel Emily and panicking when she didn't. Then she remembered Em had work and must have left already. Paige got up to go and shower before going to The Brew. She was still partially rubbing her eyes when she opened the door.

"Oh dear god, Paige!" Emily squealed as she struggled to pull her towel over her in time.

Still holding the door handle, Paige took one large step backwards and closed it as she exited the bathroom. She wished she could say she hadn't seen anything but that would be lying. Hearing the door open, she turned around to a rather red-faced Em who couldn't look her in the eye.

"I am so sorry. I didn't hear you come in and I was literally just out of the shower."

Paige laughed before telling Emily it was okay. Emily walked away to go and get dressed and Paige went to shower. When Paige was finished she got out fast, but not fast enough. In the bathroom was Emily, waiting eagerly to say, "Now we're even" with a grin on her face as she left. Unbelievable.

* * *

5 hours into her shift, Emily decided Paige wasn't going to show and wondered what was up. Was it because of this morning? It was only 3 hours until her 7 o'clock finish; she'd figure it out then. She hoped Paige wasn't in one of those horrible moods again but that looked like the case considering she had failed to answer any of Em's texts and snaps. Oh god not again. Emily couldn't deal with another several weeks of not talking. She asked her boss if she could finish early; said it was a family emergency. Paige was like family and this was an emergency. Her boss agreed as long as she'd make the hours up during the week. She thanked him and left in a hurry. Not knowing what was wrong with Paige was killing her. Practically running through town, she racked her brain for locations which Paige may be in. It had to be school, her pool, or the gym. If not then she had no idea.

She was officially out of breath when she reached the school lockers, a stitch forming in her side. No sign of anyone, let alone Paige. Her house was the next closest place to check. Emily continued to run, almost killing herself in the process. She knew as she went round the back way to Paige's pool that she would hear splashing or movement at least so wasn't overly disappointed when she got to the back to discover Paige wasn't there either. Emily could try the gym but then she would have no idea where to go next.

Luckily, Paige was at the gym. Boxing, in fact. Emily watched from a distance as Paige repeatedly pounded a punch bag. Whatever had made her angry was being used as fuel. Emily made the decision to wait outside until Paige was done blowing off steam because she did not want to end up like the punch bag.

* * *

"Get in. Please." Emily reluctantly got into Paige's car. "I have to talk to you and I'm sorry for not answering your texts and stuff."

"Paige, it's okay. Just please tell me what's going on."

"This morning- I- Look I genuinely didn't mean to burst in on you-"

"Paige if that's why you're upset then don't be. I'm not embarrassed or annoyed about it."

"But I am," said Paige as Emily looked at her. Emily's face was just sheer confusion until it hit her. Oh. Ohhh.

"Look. Is it because of..." Emily shifted closer to Paige and pulled her jumper up slightly whilst sliding her hand down her side over the hundreds of symmetrical, criss crossing, white marks, "...these?"

Paige flinched and pushed Emily's hand away. She nodded a little as she choked back tears. Emily took both of Paige's hands in hers, willing Paige to talk to her.

"Before I came out, I didn't know what to do. Everything I had ever known was changing and I had all of these feelings that I couldn't talk to anyone about. Not.. not even you, Em. I hated myself and this made me feel better. I'm so ashamed of it

"What changed?"

"After Ali..." Emily winced at the mention of her name, "...I realised I had to put things in perspective. You were in pieces but you kept on going and kept living life the way you're supposed to. I struggled to hide this from you but after all of that happened I looked to you for some sort of guidance and you did, unknowingly, help. I've never spoken about this before, Em. I couldn't deal with it."

Emily took Paige's head into her arms while she spoke softly to her. "As much as it upsets me that you felt you couldn't talk to me, I'm more upset that you went through this alone. Please please please talk to me if something bothers you or if you feel the need to resort to things like that. I want to be there for you, you're my best friend Paige. I need you so much. I don't want to wake up some day and find you hurting badly because you couldn't talk to me. No matter what it is, no matter how stupid you may think it is, please tell me. I will always try to help you."

Paige didn't say anything, she just held Emily in return.


End file.
